in my moments of weakness, you are my greatest strength
by purinsesu-sereniti
Summary: set one year after deathly hallows; when a battle goes wrong, harry finds himself immersed in the pain of loss yet again. how will he cope with possibly the greatest loss he's ever experienced? how will he win the war against voldemort when he's not even sure he wants to live on himself? a story of war, love, and friendship.
1. Chapter 1

He'd always had a fear of battle.

The sinking feeling that came with it, knowing that with every battle came the very real possibility that he could lose any one of his friends. Losing his own life was always a threat that loomed overhead, so often that it hardly scared him any longer... But his friends? His loved ones? No. That thought left him barely able to breathe, like he'd been plunged into the deepest, darkest, coldest part of the lake at Hogwarts. And while he tried to push aside those fears, he could not ever shake them away completely.

It felt as if they'd been at war forever. In some aspects, he supposed they had been. Voldemort's revival had been over five years before and those early days felt like lifetimes ago. Harry almost wished he could go back to those days, when despite the threat of Voldemort lurked at every shadow, he'd still had a sense of normalcy when it came to school. For two glorious years, he'd been able to pretend things were still going well- there had been fights, there had been losses, but he'd still clung to that sense of being a kid. But those days were long gone.

Looking across the campsite at his friends, Harry felt his heart twist; Hermione sat with her head against Ron's shoulder, her voice quiet as she read aloud from the worn Tales of Beedle and the Bard. Ron's eyes were closed and he looked like he was asleep, and Harry would have thought he was if he weren't silently mouthing along to every word Hermione spoke. Harry then looked to his right, where he met gazes with the most beautiful brown eyes he'd ever seen. Ginny... His heart leapt into his throat, as it always did even all these years later, and he could not help but to reach for her hand. Her smile was gentle and her skin was warm as her small fingers enclosed around his. For a single moment, all was well, and he felt a fleeting sense of happiness.

If only he could have hung onto that.

Somewhere in the distance, they heard the snapping of a twig, the crunching of leaves beneath feet. Hermione sat bolt upright, the book open in her lap, hazel eyes widening as Ginny put a finger to her lips, hushing them all. "We're safe enough." Ginny's voice came as nothing more than a whisper, barely loud enough for even Harry to hear her. She was right- between herself and Hermione, their campsite was well protected. Ginny had learned some Ministry grade spells from Tonks and there wasn't a spell Hermione couldn't do, so Harry felt safe despite the presence of someone around them. It was as if the person out there knew they were there, even if they could not see nor hear them. It was an eerie feeling, that of eyes upon you. "Maybe we should just go to bed, get an early start." Ginny's quiet voice broke into his rampant thoughts and he nodded along with the others. He opened his mouth, fully prepared to take the first watch, but there went Ginny, pushing him towards the tent the moment he was on his feet. "I'll take the first watch." Her grin flashed and he felt his heart melt, his feelings for her stronger than they ever had been. He relented after a moment, brushing a kiss to her cheek as he passed her by, breathing in her sweet, floral scent.

As he climbed into his bunk, he glanced across the tent to where Hermione and Ron climbed into theirs, and to the universe he offered a silent word of thanks, as he always did before slipping into a dark and nightmarish sleep.

[ x x x ]

When Harry woke, his watch told him he'd been asleep for only two hours, but he felt restless all the same. Rising from his bed, he stuffed his feet into his shoes and slipped from the tent, coming to sit down beside Ginny at the dying fire. "You should be resting, Ron's got the next watch," Ginny spoke immediately, turning her brown eyes upon him. The fire cast her into a golden, hazy sort of light, reminding him of a crown from the way it bounced off her red hair. "You've not been sleeping enough." She reached out a hand, gently touching his shoulder, tilting her head to the side. "I'm worried about you."

Harry could not help but to grin, reaching his hand up to slide into place over hers, so small that it fit perfectly into his. "I'm alright, Gin." He promised softly, tugging her hand towards his lips, which he pressed against her knuckles. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, he would not do for her, he had decided that a long time ago. He hoped, with all of his heart, that someday he would be able to slip a ring on her finger and marry her. He hoped, with all of his heart, that someday she would take his last name and he'd build her a house wherever she wanted. He hoped, with all of his heart, that they might get the happy ending they both had been dreaming of. "I worry about you, too." He knew she had nightmares, he knew that she suffered as much as any of the rest of them. Her weight had dropped and sometimes it looked as if she carried the burdens of the whole world upon her shoulders, though she tried her best to hide it. They all were suffering, these endless days of war had really begun to take a toll upon them all. But more than anything.. He worried about her survival. What if the next battle was the one to take her life? Or what if Voldemort got his hands upon her, like he'd always wanted? Harry knew he'd not be able to live with himself if Ginny ever got hurt.

She was moving then and Harry knew where she was going; he opened his arms to her and she climbed upon his lap, shifting until she was aligned perfectly, her face pressed into his shoulder. Harry held on as tightly as he dared, his hand stroking her long, red hair without another word, relishing in the simple fact he had her there to do so. It wasn't long until he heard her breathing slow and he knew that she'd drifted off to sleep. Holding her close to him, he stayed there by the dying fire until Ron came out from the tent to take over the watch. They met eyes over the top of her head and shared a silent look of understanding, before Ron gave a little jerk of his head, indicating for Harry to go ahead and go. Harry rose up, still cradling Ginny to his chest, but paused as he passed Ron by, meeting eyes with his friend one last time. Ron smiled at him then, his eyes dark in the moonlight, and Harry grinned back, knowing without a doubt he was lucky to have the friends that he did.

Carrying her back into the tent, Harry deposited her down onto the bunk and then climbed in beside her, careful so he didn't wake her in the process. She rolled over onto her side, clutching the blanket close to her as she did. Harry reached out, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead before he lay down as well and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep until it was his turn to take watch.

[ x x x ]

"We're being followed."

It was Ron who spoke, his tenor vocals grim as he swiveled his gaze from face to face. "Two of 'em, I reckon." He focused his gaze on Harry then, a silent question of what to do falling between them. "Lowly ranked, I'm sure we could take them." Harry cast his gaze towards the east, where the two cloaked Death Eaters were sure to be hovering, just out of his line of sight. "The girls could keep moving on, we can catch up..."

"No! We agreed not to separate!" Hermione chimed in, her hazel eyes darkening as they turned from one friend to another. "Besides, Ginny fights better than either one of you." Ginny blushed and Ron raised his hands in assent, chuckling along with Harry over the sheer truth of the statement. "We should just keep going, see if they're really following us or just relaying information." It wouldn't have been the first time someone tailed them for just an hour or so before disappearing- most low level Death Eaters were on strict orders not to engage with them.

After a few more minutes of debate, they agreed on Hermione's suggestion and returned to walking, their destination not much further ahead. They were on their way to a Portkey that would take them just over the hill from the Burrow, where they would finally have a chance to rest and to recharge. There would be Order meetings, warm food, and real beds for all of them in just a few short hours. None of them could help but to feel the tingle of excitement at the prospect of returning home, even if it was just for a few days. Harry had long since proclaimed the Burrow to be his favorite place, besides Hogwarts, and couldn't really ever explain what it meant to him to have a place there. The Weasley's had always treated him like a part of the family... Not just one of their son's friends, but rather another son that they loved with all of their hearts. He was incredibly lucky to have the family he had.

And that gave him all the more reason to protect them.

They had only been walking for a few minutes when Harry felt it; that strange, eerie feeling of being watched. Stronger than ever before. He slowed his walk until he came to a full stop, ears intent on catching even the quietest of sounds. The others came to a stop as well, all of them turning their concerned eyes upon him. "Harry...?" Ginny's voice was soft beside him, but he shook his head, emerald eyes gazing towards the west when he realized what was happening.

They had been ambushed.

Harry grabbed Ginny and yanked her to the ground a moment before the stunning spell would have hit her, shielding her body with his own as an array of curses came hurtling their way. He heard Hermione's frightened cry and Ron's curse as he too dragged the girl he loved down to the safety of the ground, but now they were anything but safe. A moment of pause came and Harry rolled off of Ginny and jumped to his feet, wand in hand and ready to strike. Ron was beside him a second later with the girls following after. Hermione looked pale and worried, but Ginny was on fire with her fierce determination, living up to the words they had spoken about her earlier. She was the most skilled dueler among them, probably among the best of the Order ranks. "Stupefy!" Harry shouted, his curse flying through the air into the trees where their attackers lay in wait. "Show yourselves!"

Laughter floated along the wind as several bodies slipped from the trees, all of their faces shielded by masks. Masks or not, some of their identities were far too well known to avoid, and perhaps they realized that because within moments the masks were discarded, left to hit the ground at their feet. "Harry Potter." Lucius Malfoy greeted with a malicious smile, his stormy gray eyes focusing in on The Boy Who Lived. "You are a hard man to track down these days." It had been some time since they had last stood face to face like this and Lucius had to give the little group props for staying under the radar so well. But, they had finally been found and things weren't going to go so well for them this time around. "Heading somewhere?"

At once, his defenses were up- he felt his limbs tense up, the grip on his wand tightening ever so slightly. "Yeah, we are." He spoke up as Ron stood shoulder to shoulder with him, with the girls on their either side. "We're on our way to defeat your Dark Lord." He knew better than to speak the name, not when Snatchers were out there. "Maybe you can let him know we're coming." His trio of friends smirked, Ginny actually letting out a little giggle beside him, her brown eyes flashing in the sunlight.

Malfoy smirked, a quick chuckle escaping his lips as his arms fell away from where they'd been folded across his chest. He raised up one hand, signaling to the two Death Eaters on his left, and they all heard the guttural laughter that belonged to Fenrir Greyback. "We shall see about that, Potter." He snapped his fingers and then the Death Eaters came at them, six bodies moving so quickly they had next to no time to react.

The battle began and Harry found himself locked into a duel with two lowly ranked Death Eaters, though he could see why these men had been chosen for this mission: they were good. He dodged a curse and as he righted himself, heard Hermione's little squeak of pain as one caught her. He whipped around but had no time to reach her before she was hit hard with a stunning spell, one which sent her backwards several feet. "Hermione!" Harry heard Ginny's voice ring out and then she was dashing off, darting between spells and villains like it was what she'd been made to do. A curse whizzed by her, missing her by inches, but she seemed not to notice as she dropped to her knees beside the fallen Hermione, and though Harry wanted nothing more than to watch the scene, he had a fight to finish.

"Hermione... Hey, Hermione..." Ginny coaxed the brunette back into consciousness, her gentle touch warm against her cheek as she brushed a lock of hair from her face. "You okay?" She asked softly as she helped her into a sitting position, relief rushing through her when she gave a single nod. "Come on." Ginny stood and offered her a hand, pulling her back onto her feet and into the fray.

It was only then that Harry noticed the girl's return to battle and he offered a silent prayer to the universe that Hermione seemed mostly unharmed from the stunning spell. "Expelliarmus!" He shouted, managing to disarm one of the Death Eaters he was fighting with. "Reducto!" He pointed his wand at the fallen one, which promptly exploded into thousands of tiny pieces, ending that one man's time in battle. He took that moment to take in the sight of the battlefield; Ron fought fiercely with Dolohov, while Hermione was taking on some other unknown Death Eater. His eyes sought out Ginny, who was locked in battle with Greyback himself. She was holding her own, though he did notice she'd been injured on her left side, a curse burn of some kind that still didn't seem to be slowing her down. Harry returned his gaze to the Death Eater he still had to face and swallowed, knowing they only had one chance to win this.

The battle still raged but it seemed like they were on the winning edge; there was no one left but Greyback and Malfoy, all others having been disarmed or knocked out, leaving them at the advantage it seemed.

It seemed.

"Potter, I'm giving you this one chance to give up." Malfoy said, stepping forward with his eyes burning into Harry's. "Or else you shall regret it." Harry did not speak but rather held his wand a bit higher, as did all the others, their faces set with their determination. They all stood scattered now- Ron just to his left but behind and the girls to his right and behind him further still. He could just barely see any of them out of his peripheral vision. Suddenly, he was overcome with a sense of dread and he staggered, hardly able to catch his breath. "So be it." Harry turned back to face the two men, Greyback with a bloody face, hurt by one of Ginny's curses, and Malfoy unscathed. He opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words that would come. And then Malfoy raised a hand again, snapping his fingers as he'd done before, but this time no one came at them... They appeared behind them.

They all heard the pop as the Death Eaters Apparated into the battlefield, but there was no getting out of the way, there was no escaping what was happening. Harry turned to see all three of his friends caught in their grasps, struggling against them, but caught all the same. Bellatrix Lestrange held fast to Hermione, the same woman who had carved Mudblood into her arm the summer before. Amycus Carrow held onto Ron, who was red in the face in his attempt at breaking free from the man. It was Greyback who had Apparated close enough to take hold of Ginny, one hand tangled into her long hair, the other gripped around her waist. Harry watched as she struggled against him, but she was much smaller, much weaker when it came to the physical fight. "Let me make a point out of this one, Lucius," Greyback growled, yanking Ginny's hair back to expose the soft skin of her neck. "I want to rip her apart." His words were soft and menacing as he traced the sharp nails of his hand across her throat. Harry felt his stomach clench, his heart racing inside his chest.

Malfoy tilted his head to the side, a chuckle escaping him as he took a single step closer to where Harry still yet stood. "Easy now, Fenrir..." Above them, the sun had begun to set and soon it would be night and the Order would come looking for them when they didn't arrive at the scheduled time. For only a moment he imagined poor Mrs. Weasley, fretting over how late they already were, and could not help but to feel sorry for causing her such worry. He made a mental note to apologize to her, when he saw her later that night. "The Dark Lord would not be pleased if you damaged her." Though Greyback looked disappointed, he released his tight pull on Ginny's hair, returning his other hand back to her waist. "I offer you a choice, Potter." Malfoy turned his gaze back to him, his lips curved with a malicious sort of smile. "Your life for theirs."

"No!"

"Harry, don't listen!"

"Harry!"

At once, three voices rang out into the dying light, and at once all three were silenced by the Cruciatus Curse. The three dropped to their knees as the curse took hold, the only thing keeping any of them upright was the grip from their captors hands. "No!" Harry bellowed, turning to watch as the three of them were hit again, this time causing Hermione to cry out from the pain. "No... Just stop... Let them go, Malfoy." He spun back around to face the man who was smirking yet again. "Let them go and I'll come with you." He heard his friends gasps, he heard their voices, but he could not bring himself to look at them. Maybe this... Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. He closed his eyes for only a moment, recalling the hundreds of memories he had with those three, and knew he wouldn't have traded them for anything.

Not even his own life.

"That is the right choice, Potter..." Malfoy spoke slowly as the male hung his head, falling silent while his friends called out to him from behind. He met eyes with Greyback but still did not speak as he held out a hand, gesturing for Harry to come closer to him.

Ginny wasn't going to watch this happen, no... She wasn't going to let this happen. Ginny cast a quick glance to her left, where both Hermione and Ron still knelt on the ground, their limbs still held tightly by their captors. To her right was her wand, just barely out of her reach... If only she could get herself flat onto the ground, she might have been able to reach it. Her attention returned to her own captor, the werewolf only held her by her hair and it was just by the ends now, giving her an idea that would probably cost her life. Well, at least she could die knowing she tried everything she could to save the others. She met eyes with Ron and offered him a little grin, hoping that as her brother he could read her mind, and then... Well, then she began to struggle.

It took only a few seconds for Greyback to hit her with the Cruciatus Curse, just as she had anticipated, and it was then that she allowed her whole body to go limp. Greyback, not thinking she'd fall forward like that, let her hair slip from his grasp and her body hit the ground at his feet. The fall was so natural, so easy that there wasn't a single person on that battlefield that thought she was faking. Ginny kept her eyes closed, her right arm extended out towards her wand, just inches from her fingertips. Now, she just had to wait for the perfect moment.

"Come Potter, come with me and I will not allow any more harm to come to them." Malfoy broke the silence that fell after Ginny's outburst, his hand outstretched once again. "The Dark Lord is waiting for you, to settle things once and for all." Harry bowed his head, taking a step forward, managing to somehow perfectly place himself in front of Ginny who still lay on the ground behind him. She cracked open an eye, seeing this, and knew that this was her moment. Taking a deep breath, she curled her fingers around her wand and leapt to her feet. In an instant, she had managed to blast Greyback back, his pained howl echoing among the trees.

All hell broke loose then as Ginny aimed her next spell for Amycus, who took the hit as he fumbled with his wand and his hold on Ron. At once, spells and curses were flinging everywhere, and Ginny turned her focus onto Hermione, who had yet to be let go by Bellatrix, who's crazed laughter was louder than any of the shouts. "Hermione!" Ginny cried out at the same moment Malfoy shouted something at Bellatrix, a single word that would haunt her for the remainer of her days:

"Now!"

Time seemed to standstill then, when Bellatrix pointed her wand at Hermione and cried out the curse. The flash of green was blinding, the thud of Hermione's body on the ground was deafening. Something cold and dark twisted Ginny's heart but then suddenly, it became white hot with rage. Suddenly, she was burning from the inside out, and the only way to douse it was to feel that woman's blood on her hands. "Crucio!" She screamed the Unforgivable Curse, but missed as she stumbled, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Crucio!" She tried again but was blasted back by a dose of the curse from Bellatrix instead.

Harry could not believe what had just happened... No, he'd not dare to believe it. It was all a dream, a nightmare really, and he would open his eyes to find them all back at their campsite. He would open his eyes and Hermione would be alive and well. Tears were flooding his eyes as he opened them, forcing himself to look upon her fallen form, still and silent there on the ground. It was Ginny's screaming that brought him back to the present, reminding him that there were still people he had to protect. "Ginny!" He called out, taking the first step to rush towards her, but Malfoy placed himself between them, and thus another duel was about to begin.

Behind all of that, Greyback was beginning to stir; his blood was boiling, his anger threatening to spill over. He was tired of that little, bloody girl, always thinking she had the upper hand on him. He looked out onto the battlefield and saw her sitting upright, back to him, facing the fallen form of her friend. All the others were caught up in the battle, none of them would notice him creeping back into the fray. And while he knew the Dark Lord wanted the girl alive, he'd blame it on a stray curse. Voldemort couldn't be that mad that another blood traitor would be dead, after all. And so, he slowly got to his feet and retrieved his wand, aiming it directly at the young woman's back. Then, he opened his mouth and spoke the words that would end her life and make his a whole lot easier. "Avada Kedavra."

Of all of them, it was Ron that noticed Greyback; he caught sight of him a moment too late, when he'd already pointed his wand at Ginny. He opened his mouth, her name dying on his lips as he rushed forwards, the flash of green light blinding as it hurdled towards him. Ron closed his eyes and thought of Hermione, who had gone on without him, and he could not help but to smile. At least they'd not be alone, huh? And then, the curse connected, and everything was gone.

The battlefield went silent as Ron's body dropped to the ground, his blue eyes forever closed. Ginny's eyes widened, her voice lost to her as she reached out a trembling hand to touch her brother's shoulder, as if he'd magically wake up from her touch alone. He was warm to the touch, but still, looking much like he did when he was asleep. Ginny raised her gaze from the body of her brother to that of her friend just across the way and that was when she felt something break inside of her.

Harry felt the world spin around him; he had seen the second flash of green but had not known the victim it had claimed until he turned around. There was Ron laying on the ground by Ginny, the placement of his body telling Harry just what he'd done to protect his sister. He spun back around to face Malfoy, but before he could speak they all heard the voices in the distance. It was the Order, come just moments too late. "Let's go." Malfoy snapped and all the others vanished with little pops. "Until next time, Potter." He hissed and then he too was gone, leaving Harry and Ginny alone with the bodies of their fallen family.

It was as Remus, Tonks, and Arthur arrived that Harry was dropping down beside Ginny, who wasn't even crying as she sat there beside Ron. As her father approached, he caught sight of his fallen son, and a shocked cry left the man's lips. A sound that would forever be ingrained into Harry's mind. He put his hand onto Ginny's shoulders but she seemed to not even notice, so still and silent was she, staring down at Ron's fallen frame. He couldn't blame her. What words were there for her to say, anyway?

There was no making sense of the situation, there was no making right of it. In the blink of an eye, his worst fears had become a reality. He had lost the first two people he'd ever loved, the first two people he could have ever called family. They were gone... Lost to him forever. How was he supposed to go on now? How was he supposed to fight this war without the two of them? A tremor of real fear rushed through him and Harry grabbed for Ginny, needing the feel of someone in his grasp. She turned into him, pressing her face into his chest, still silent but her warmth comforting. This... This was why he had to live on, he supposed. There were still people who needed him, even if Ron and Hermione were gone.

Somehow, he'd have to make it through. He just wasn't entirely sure how.


	2. Chapter 2

The pain was unbearable.

Sitting there, alone in the room he'd once shared with Ron was nearly impossible. He saw them both at every turn of his head- the flash of Hermione's smile, the soft blue of Ron's eyes... He heard them everywhere he went- the quiet calm of Hermione's voice, the sharp wit of Ron's humor. Harry had never experienced a loss such as this... One with so much depth, so much true pain behind it. Losing his parents had affected him in ways unlike this, because he'd never truly known them. Losing Sirius had hurt worse than anything ever had, because he never had the chance to know him like he'd deserved to. But Ron and Hermione? They'd been inseparable for nine years, from that very first day on the train to Hogwarts to the very moment they had lost their lives. He had known no better friends than those two. The two people who had stuck by him through thick and thin, who had put their own lives on the line for his sake, as well as the entire wizarding world's.

Harry wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been locked away inside Ron's room, but it had felt like days. He hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, hadn't spoken a word since he'd come up there the night of their deaths. Truthfully, he didn't feel like he deserved to mingle among those downstairs, with those who resided in this home. It was because of him that those he called family had lost their son, it was because of him that Hermione's parents would never know the loss of their daughter. She had always hoped that once the war was over she could mend the damage done to her parent's after her memory spell, that they could be a family again, but now she would never get that chance. And the parents that had once loved Hermione would never know their daughter was gone. Maybe that was for the best, Harry supposed, living in a world without that pain would be so much better. If only he could do it as well.

 _Knock, knock._

This wasn't the first knock that had sounded upon the door, but it was the first one that forced him to look up when the voice spoke from behind it. "Harry?" Mrs. Weasley called softly, her voice sounding tired, strained. "Harry, I've brought you something to eat... Won't you please open the door?" Harry did not move, did not speak for a long moment, but something told him not to ignore the woman who had taken care of him all these years. The woman who had opened her home to him every summer without complaint, the woman that had fed him, clothed him, and cared for him as much as she'd cared for any one of her own natural born sons. No, though it would be painful for him to do, Harry knew that he could not ignore her any longer.

And so, he rose up from his bed and crossed the room to open the door, revealing Molly Weasley to him. She looked as tired as Harry felt- dark circles rimmed her swollen, but dry eyes and her usually neat hair was pulled back into an unkempt bun at the back of her head. "I made you corned beef," Molly said softly, holding out the tray with the sandwich, so neatly cut down the center. Harry accepted the tray from her hands and gestured for her to cross the threshold into the bedroom, which she did, coming to stand at the center of the room between the two beds on either wall. "I always forgot Ron didn't like corned beef." She admitted softly, her voice not much more than a whisper as she stared at the poster hanging over Ron's bed, the ghoul overhead banging on the rafters as usual. "He thought I didn't pay enough attention to him, being the youngest son with Ginny coming after him, but I..." She trailed off, tears choking her, and Harry stood across from her with the tray in his hands, unsure of what to do. But it all made sense to him then and without a second thought, he set the tray down and pulled the woman into his embrace.

He held tightly to her as she cried over the loss of her son and the girl she'd considered a daughter. He held her tightly as she raged over their losses and he held on tightly as that rage faded to hopelessness, to gut wrenching sobs that wracked her entire body. Harry did not speak as Molly cried, for there were no words he could say to the woman who had just lost her child when he felt like he didn't even deserve to be in her presence, let alone embracing her. Tears gathered in his own emerald eyes but he fought against them because right now, it wasn't about his thoughts or his feelings... it was about this woman who had more or less raised him these last eight years.

When Molly's tears finally began to fade into hiccups, she pulled back, looking incredibly ashamed of herself and at once began to stammer an apology. "Don't, Mrs. Weasley... Please, don't apologize." Harry spoke before she could, shaking his head, reaching up a hand to the back of his head, a nervous tick Molly had seen in him hundreds of times before. "You don't ever have to apologize to me."

Molly smiled a sad, watery smile, but it was a smile all the same, the first one she'd given anyone since the night they had died. She reached out a hand, gently cupping his cheek into her palm, offering up a silent thanks to the universe that at least he was unhurt, that at least he and Ginny had made it back without much harm. "You should come down for dinner tonight," she said and Harry felt a rush of warmth flood his cheeks at her touch. "I'll make anything you want." Harry gave a single, silent nod and watched as Molly left the room, closing the door behind her, but not before she cast one last look at him over her shoulder. Her brown eyes were brighter brown than he had ever noticed and suddenly, he knew where Ginny had gotten her eyes from.

 _Ginny..._

He'd not thought of her in hours, how stupid of him! Of all the people hurting from the loss of Ron and Hermione, she would be the worst. Hermione had been her dearest friend and Ron... Well, Ron and her had been closer than either of them might have ever let on. And while they'd bickered often, it was always out of love for the other. Ron had been the protective big brother and while Ginny rarely needed protecting, she had once admitted to him that she'd kind of enjoyed knowing there was someone who would always look out for her. How could he have forgotten about the pain she must have been enduring in these first few hours since the battle had ended? So wrapped up was he in his own pain, his own guilt, he'd forgotten how deeply Ginny must have been hurting.

And so he didn't return to his bed, but rather he left the confines of the bedroom to head down the few flights of stairs to stand outside her bedroom door. To be honest, now that he was there, he wasn't certain he could face her. What would she say? What would she do? Would she even want to see him? Perhaps she blamed him as much as he blamed himself for what had happened to Ron and Hermione. Perhaps she would not be as forgiving as her mother seemed to be. But, something told him that no matter what she said or what she did, he still needed to see her. And so, he raised his fist and knocked three times upon the solid wood door, holding his breath as he listened to the footsteps approaching the door.

Truthfully, she'd not thought much about anything beyond the pain in her heart these last few hours. She had been keeping steady count of the hours that had passed- thirteen- since Ron and Hermione had died. She had locked herself into her room without any regard for the others in the house and while she knew that was probably selfish, she couldn't bring herself to face her parents or any of her other brothers. How could she, when Ron was dead because of her? She had tried to make a difference that night by fighting back but it had done nothing but get Ron murdered in her place. He had died to protect her and Hermione had died because she'd acted so rashly. Both of them had died because of her, it was that simple. And the feeling of guilt was so overwhelming, she could hardly even breathe at times.

When the knock sounded on her door, her first instinct was to ignore whoever it was outside. She'd ignored everyone else until this point so why bother now? But then the knock came again, a little louder than the first one, and she sighed as she got up off her bed. Crossing the room, she pulled the door open, fully prepared to meet her mother or father's gazes, but it was neither of them standing there in her doorway. "Harry..." She spoke softly, the familiar syllables of his name bringing her a comfort she couldn't quite describe. But how... How could he stand to look upon her? Because of what she'd done, he'd lost his two closest friends, the two people that had stood by him for all these years. Without another word, she stepped back to allow him entrance to her room and then she returned to sit upon the edge of her bed, eyes peering at him as he came to stand in the center of her bedroom.

The first thing Harry noticed was how cold and empty the room felt, despite Ginny's presence. He stood in the center of the room, facing her, but turned for only a moment to stare at the bed Hermione should have been occupying. It was neatly made from the last time they'd been there, with a book settled on the pillow. Harry reached out, lifting it into his hands, and found it to be the old Hogwarts, A History, a book so old and worn that the once glossy cover was now matte. He felt sorrow welling up within him and so he set the book back down where it had been and turned back to face Ginny, who's brown eyes were dark and somber in her pale face. "Are you..." He trailed off, already lost in his words, already uncertain on what to say to her. "How are you?" He finally asked, though he knew such a question was stupid to ask. To his surprise, she cracked a smile though it was unlike the smile he adored so much. Suddenly, he wanted to know everything that had happened in the hours since he'd last looked at her face- had she eaten? Had she slept? How much had she cried?

"I'm fine," she said without preamble, shrugging as if they were discussing the weather, not her feelings over the death of loved ones. "It's you I worry about." She went on, deciding the best plan of action here was to not talk about herself. She didn't deserve to, not in front of Harry. Not when everything was her fault. "Did mum barge into your room yet?" Harry smiled at that and so did Ginny, a much more real smile than her one before. He nodded and she felt a little rush of relief, knowing that her mother was trying to keep things normal, that she'd not given way to her sorrow. "Corned beef?" Again Harry nodded and Ginny gestured at her bedside table, where her own sandwich still yet sat untouched. "Ron hated corned beef." Ginny turned to stare at the sandwich, as if it being there was enough to summon her brother back to her and for a moment she could hear him complaining that yet again, their mother had forgotten his dislike for it.

Harry wondered if she realized she'd begun to cry.

Her features crumpled as the tears trailed down her cheeks, faster and faster until she was sobbing, uncontrolled sobs that left her breathless. Harry stood silent for only a moment before again he was on the move, dropping down onto the bed to pull her into his embrace. For the second time that day, he was offering comfort to someone he didn't think ever would have wanted it from him. But Ginny clung to him like he was the only thing anchoring her to this world, her face buried into his shoulder as she cried for those she had lost. He held onto her, needing this just as much as she did, and for the first time since their deaths, Harry allowed himself to freely cry. He pressed his face into the top of her head, crying for his own losses, silently swearing to himself that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to trade the moments back. If only he'd given in earlier, if only he'd fought a bit harder... if only he'd done so many things differently, like going alone on his journey for horcruxes. Like forcing his friends to remain behind in a place where they'd had been safe. But he had been selfish, he'd wanted them with him... he hadn't wanted to be alone. Their presence had been so comforting to him through the years, he hadn't wanted to lose out on it now when times were so tough. But if only he had, then they'd still be alive and they would be together there in the Burrow. "I'm so sorry, Ginny... I'm so sorry." He whispered, again and again, the words falling from his lips between the sobs that escaped him. It was only then that Ginny pulled away from him, her brown eyes swollen but wide with surprise, her mouth hanging open ever so slightly as she stared at him.

"What... What are you sorry for?" Her words were soft, barely audible, and Harry had to strain to hear them. It was his turn to allow his eyes to widen in surprise, his brows arching with the pure shock he felt. "For what happened to them? Harry, how can you blame yourself?" She sniffled, giving her redhead a shake, a half laugh tumbling free from her lips. "It was my fault."

Harry felt the world stop spinning around him for a moment as her words sunk in and it was then that Harry realized just what she meant by them. Her fault? It was her fault? Was she insane? "Ginny, nothing was your fault. It happened because they're with me, because they've always been with me." Harry shook his head as he lay his hands upon her slim shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Ron and Hermione died because of me, not because of anything you did." Harry could not believe that she could blame herself for what had happened, he didn't understand it at all in truth. What reason could she possibly have for blaming herself?

Ginny pushed away from him then, leaping onto her feet to stand before him instead, a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks. "It was because I tried to fight back against Greyback! I caused the fight to start back up and when I did... Malfoy he... He..." She was crying uncontrollably again, so much so that she could not even finish her words. That was when Harry began to remember, the moment Ginny had managed to get her wand back and had blasted Greyback off his feet... That had been when Malfoy had given the order to Bellatrix. But that... That wasn't her fault. She had only been doing what she had thought was best, what she thought would save them all. She could never have known what would happen when she'd attacked Greyback. "And then Ron... He... He protected me... He died instead of me! It should have been me!" Her voice was shrill, her hands clenched into fists so tightly at her sides that her nails dug into her palms enough to draw blood. "It should have been me..." She murmured, shaking her head as she turned away, unable to face him any longer. "How can you stand to look at me? I took them away from you..."

He couldn't stand it, watching her breakdown right before his very eyes, not when the blame wasn't hers. Standing up, Harry snatched her back into his arms and held on tight, feeling her body slip as her knees buckled beneath her. There were no words that he could say, not right then, not when she was falling apart... And so he was quiet as he held onto her, stroking her long, disheveled hair, thankful that he at least still had her to hold onto. The thought of losing her too? No, he couldn't stand such a thought. Losing Ron and Hermione had been bad enough, but to lose Ginny as well? No, there was no thinking about that. "I couldn't live if it had been you," he finally whispered to her as she cried, feeling her arms come around him, her body quaking with the force of her tears. "No one blames you... I don't."

She could not believe it, she could not believe that he didn't blame her for what had happened. How could he not... He'd been there! He had seen it all happen! But Ginny just didn't have the strength to argue over it, in fact she hardly had the strength to stand there much more. Harry must have felt her wobbling for he was drawing her back to the bed then, murmuring softly to her as he pulled her along. She allowed him to draw her back down onto her bed, laying himself down beside her. Without a word, she lay down and felt his arms wrap around her, a comfort she could not describe. Laying there beside him felt so... So normal... But so unfair at the same time. Never again would she share a bed with Hermione, staying up late into the night talking about everything imaginable. Never again would Hermione and Ron share a bed together, their love story cut so much shorter than she'd ever thought possible. Ginny had always thought that someday Hermione and her would watch their kids grow up together, cousins they would have been after all. But now that dream was long gone.

Keeping her close to his chest, Harry kept his arms around her as they lay in bed beside one another, sliding one hand up to her chest, feeling the flutter of her heartbeat against his palm. It wasn't that long until he heard her breathing slow and even out, finally she had fallen into the sleep she'd been avoiding for hours now. Harry didn't blame her- he too was afraid of the dreams that would come when he finally fell asleep. At least they had each other to draw comfort from. He knew the days, weeks, months to come would be harder than any of those they'd faced in the past, and the only way to make it through was by relying on each other.

He finally closed his eyes, settled into place there beside her, knowing that at least when he woke up, he'd have her there beside him.

[ x x x ]

When neither Ginny nor Harry came down for dinner, Molly could not help herself from going up to find them.

She missed Ron and Hermione as much as they did- perhaps even more so, for who could love one more than a mother- but she did not blame them for wanting to hide away. There wasn't much else Molly wanted to do but to hide herself from the world, to wallow in the pain of her losses, but she had so much more to do. She had a family to take care of, Order members to feed, and funerals to plan. Molly knew that neither Harry or Ginny had eaten, had slept, had even spoken since they'd returned from the battle that night... but she wanted that to change. She wanted both of them to be a part of what was to come. And so that was why she made her way up the first flight of stairs to Ginny's bedroom door, which she softly knocked upon, only to have silence as her response. Giving her daughter a minute more, Molly opened the door and entered without another word, fully prepared to pull her from the room no matter what it cost her. "Ginny, dear you have to..." Molly's words fell short as she caught sight of the two there on the bed, entwined as if they'd been made for each other, their bodies fit so perfectly against each others. She stood there, still and silent, overlooking her daughter there in bed with another man, finally looking peaceful. Gone was the guilt, the sorrow, the anger... All of it gone, replaced with the peaceful look of a young woman asleep beside someone she loved. And Harry... He slept with his hand to her heart, as if that had been the one thing to lull him to sleep.

And Molly knew she couldn't disturb that.

Instead, she stood beside the bed for only a moment, forcing away the urge to reach out and stroke her daughter's cheek. The pain of losing her youngest son was immeasurable, but to imagine it had been her? The youngest of her children, her only daughter, the first girl born in seven generations... No, Molly could not think of it. Not when her loss was already so very great. She instead settled for trailing her fingers across the pillow that once used to be Hermione's- that pain was strong too, for that girl too had been like her own. How many summers had she spent beneath her roof? And how many years would it have been until she was truly her daughter? Molly had always known those two would be together, even if they'd not known it themselves. She pulled her fingers back as if struck by electricity and a tear traced the curve of her cheek as thoughts of them all as kids tumbled through her thoughts.

Pausing in the doorway, she turned back only for a moment to gaze upon the two sleeping in bed, their limbs tangled together beneath the blankets. At least... At least she'd not lost them. Through them, she would always be able to hang onto what she'd lost in Ron and Hermione. Through them, she'd start to heal her wounded heart.


	3. Chapter 3

When Harry woke the morning of the funeral, it was to his dress robes already pressed and ready for him. His mind briefly turned to Mrs. Weasley, fumbling through her own emotions to ensure he and all the others were set for the day. He could simply not understand where she drew such strength from. Rising from his bed, Harry picked up a towel from the floor and headed out into the hall to the bathroom that was just the flight below. As he pushed the door open, he caught the murmur of voices from the kitchen and he knew that people were beginning to gather, despite the early morning hours.

Keeping the lights off, Harry showered quick, thinking more of any others in the household that may have needed it after him. Drying off with the towel, Harry wrapped himself in it and then returned to his bedroom- Ron's bedroom, he reminded himself as he sat down on the edge of his bed, staring out at the empty one across from him. Though it was the day of the funerals, though he had helped plan them every step of the way... None of this felt real. Not yet, anyways.

He gave himself only a few minutes more of self pity before he forced himself back up and began to dress, pulling on everything but the outermost layer of his robes. And then, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Harry went downstairs, stepping into the kitchen to greet those within. Though he spoke and shook hands and hugged the many attendees, it was as if it wasn't him in control. He moved through the motions, accepting condolences and nodding his head as if he was even listening.

Molly had prepared a feast for those who had stayed overnight and for those who had come early. As Harry turned to face her there at the stove overseeing the cooking bacon, it was almost as if it was years ago and he was a twelve-year-old boy who had never known what it was like to be loved by parents or a family at all. His first experience with human kindness had been Hagrid and then them, the Weasley family, as he rushed, confused, through King's Cross Station. That first summer he'd stayed with them, Harry had been nervous and uncertain, had even been embarrassed when a mere hug had brought tears to his eyes. He'd never known in all of his life the love and the touch of a mother, but Mrs. Weasley had changed that. He owed this woman, this family, so much more than he could ever give. Harry just hoped that Mrs. Weasley knew how much he loved her back.

"Harry, dear?"

He jolted back to the present and focused his eyes upon Mrs. Weasley, who had reached out her hand to touch his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley, I wasn't listening." He admitted and to his surprise, Molly smiled and patted his cheek, mumbling something about teenage boys. Before he could speak again, she was thrusting a stack of plates into his hands, asking him to set the table, and then he understood. Molly wanted this day to feel as normal as it could, this day she was to bury her son. Perhaps if she pretended things were normal, the pain would lessen. Harry didn't blame her. So he did as he was bid, setting plates down around the old wooden table, realizing just how easy it was to fall into her fantasy.

The sound of voices brought him back to reality and there, coming through the kitchen door were familiar faces he'd not expected to see. "Hello, Harry." Luna's whimsical vocals brought him more comfort than he could say and he raised his hand in greeting as the small group approached him. Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Luna all were dressed in their dress robes, though Luna still wore her butterbeer cap necklace as she had every day of his knowing her. It wouldn't be Luna if she wasn't wearing it, honestly. He hadn't seen these friends in some time, but it brought back the memories of his youth and time at Hogwarts. If only they could go back to those times.

"Neville... Dean... Seamus," he shook hands with the three men, offering them what he hoped was a smile. He found it quite hard to work his face to convey such a thing when he felt so miserable inside. "I'm glad you guys could come, it means a lot..." He paused, blinking rapidly as he realized tears were threatening to gather; he wasn't going to cry, not there in the kitchen for all to see. The three males looked somewhat uncomfortable, but Luna's expression turned to sympathy as she reached out to gently touch his hand. He wished for a distraction, anything to get him away from those who reminded him of the simpler times in life. Times he wished he could get back with all of his heart.

And as if he'd conjured it by mere thought, his distraction suddenly came.

More voices sounded and Harry turned towards the back door as it opened, the twins slipping inside with grim looks upon their mirrored faces. Harry could not recall a time that these two looked as they did that morning, but of all their brothers... It had been Ron that they were closest too. "Harry," Fred greeted before reaching out to embrace him, George following moments after. "Mum, where's Ginny?" He turned towards their mother then, who shrugged, saying something about her probably getting ready. The twins moved towards the parlor, where inside was their father and several Order members had retreated to and then the door closed behind them, leaving Harry alone with Mrs. Weasley once again.

"Hey, Mrs. Weasley, it's getting late... I'm going to check on Ginny." Molly fixed him with her brown eyes and then smiled, nodding her head. Disappearing back up the stairs, Harry stopped there on the first landing and stood before her door. Reaching up, he knocked twice, and heard nothing in response. He gave it several seconds before he made the choice to go in, pushing the door open with a soft call to her. "Ginny... It's me..." As he entered, he closed the door behind him, coming to stand in the center of her room.

Though she had wanted to deny whoever it was entrance to her bedroom, Ginny couldn't find her voice to speak. And then her door was swinging open without regard for her response anyways. Harry slipped into the bedroom, looking grim and tired, his emerald eyes bright in his pale features. She did not move from her seat at her vanity, did not even speak now that he had forced himself into her room and shut the door behind him. Instead, she returned her attention to her own reflection, staring at the face that no longer felt familar. Everything about herself felt foreign, as if she were a prisoner within her own body.

She sat at her vanity, dressed in a simple black dress he'd never seen before; her hair fell in gentle waves down her back like a waterfall and it was all he could do to keep himself for reaching for it. Harry could tell that she'd been crying, but she hid it well. She had painstakingly applied the Muggle makeup Hermione had given her that summer, the kohl around her eyes making them look much darker than usual. He could count on one hand the times he'd seen her in the makeup and he knew she wore it as a tribute to Hermione, much as Harry now wore Ron's old watch on his wrist. His first instinct was to comment on how nice she did look, but he supposed such a comment wasn't appropriate. And so he stumbled, falling into an awkward silence as he stood there, meeting her gaze in the reflection of her mirror. "You don't have to say anything." She was the one who finally spoke, speaking the words as if she could read his very thoughts. Harry watched as she rose from the vanity, brushing her hair across a shoulder as she moved. She came to stand before him, her eyes shining as she looked up at him, head tilted ever so slightly to the side. "There's nothing left to say."

No, there wasn't, was there?

No words they spoke would bring their loved ones back, no words they spoke would lessen the pain and the guilt either of them felt. Nothing but time could ease such things and Harry wasn't so sure the time he had left in this life would ever be enough. He gave a little nod and reached out his hand, entwining it with hers and gave it a squeeze. And then together they descended the stairs to the kitchen, to where they'd fake it through breakfast with the others, as if it was just a normal day. And then later, they'd say their final goodbyes to the two they had loved so dearly.

[ x x x ]

Harry found that there could be nothing more sad than the funeral of someone taken far too soon; those that spoke, they all spoke of the unfairness of it all, the loss of a life before it could ever truly live. They all spoke of the things they'd not ever do, of the dreams that would never come true. There was a profound sadness that stung his heart, his mind, even his very soul. He would hang onto these feelings for the rest of his days, that much Harry was certain of.

As he sat there among the Weasley family, with Ginny to his left and the twins to his right, Harry felt out of place. He still could not shake the feeling that he didn't deserve to be there among them. That and... Well, he couldn't stay there any longer. He couldn't remain in seclusion at the Burrow when those who had taken Ron and Hermione still ran free. There was still a war to be fought and won. He'd never be able to live with himself if he didn't avenge two of the people he'd loved most in this life. And that was why he'd decided to go, that night in fact, this would be the night he'd return to a life on the run, a life of someone fighting a war that might be unwinnable.

Especially now that he was going to be alone.

Movement behind him caught his attention and it was Remus, returning to the podium to finish up the service. At this point, many others had been given the chance to speak- Arthur, Fred, Bill, and Tonks had all spoken words about the two that he would carry with him, words he'd never be able to forget. He listened closely to the final words Remus spoke as he stared, wide-eyed up at him, forcing the tears away. He would not cry, not here before the dozens of people that had gathered there. Reaching out, he slipped his hand over Ginny's, giving it a gentle squeeze, the warmth of hers offering a little comfort in a moment such as that.

And then, it was over.

The people began to disperse, some to stay for a lunch with the family, others to return to their lives. Others who would move on from this, others who might see a name in the paper and remember, but then again go on. The pain was trapped within those who remained behind at the Burrow that day, every one of them hanging onto a piece of it. It was sharp, it was jagged, it was a pain indescribable by all who felt it. It left you feeling dead inside, a feeling that frightened even Harry. Of all the terrible things he had felt over the years, nothing was not one of them, and that was the scariest feeling in the world.

He joined the others in the cramped quarters of the Burrow's kitchen, all the Weasley's and the few Order members that were part of the family now, so often were they around. He listened as they told stories and remembered, finding himself to even laugh over stories the twins told, realizing it felt good to share a laugh with the people he had called family all these years. As he listened to them speak, he committed to memory all of their faces, their voices, everything about them... Because after today, he might never see any of them again.

[ x x x ]

That night, Harry slipped from his bed under the cover of darkness.

With a single sack over his shoulder, he made his way down to the kitchen to stand for several long moments, recalling the hundreds of memories he'd made within those four walls. He had spent nearly every summer there at the Burrow, eight years of memories he'd never forget. And while it pained him to leave without a word to any one of them, he knew he had to. They'd never have let him leave alone, never would have let him do what he needed to do. He'd not drag anyone else into this mess needlessly- he'd find the final two horcruxes on his own and then... And then he'd end the war. Just himself and Voldemort, that was all who needed to be involved now.

Sighing, he hefted his pack further up on his shoulder and then stepped out into the night, his wand out as he prepared himself for the journey on foot out of the protective charms and into the Muggle street just nearby. He turned to cast one single look back at the house and then he turned to go, knowing that first step he took would be the hardest of them all.

"Going somewhere?"

The voice caught him off guard and he whipped back around, only to find Ginny standing there in the doorway, her slim body leaned up against the door frame. She pushed away from it and came to stand before him, red hair tousled as if she'd been tossing and turning in her bed since she'd went to it hours before. "Ginny..." his vocals formed the familiar syllables of her name, his heart skipping a beat within his chest. He'd not anticipated seeing her like this, he had purposely avoiding saying goodbye to her, to the girl he'd always loved. How could he? How could he walk away from her? He had thought if he went without a word it'd be easier for the both of them. But, as always, he'd underestimated Ginny and her skills of understanding the world around her. Her skills of understanding him. He should have known better than to have thought he could ever fool her.

"You were just going to leave? Just like that? Without a word to anyone? Not even to me?" Her voice was quiet, but Harry could hear the pain behind her every word. He winced, as if she had struck him, and looked down at the ground, unable to face her in that moment. "How could you?" The softest of phrases, but it hit him like a scream and he snapped his head back up to look at her; the eyes he'd fallen in love with were bright in the moonlight, brimming with tears as they stared back at him. Her mouth trembled as she fought to find the words to say but they would not come and they fell into silence there beneath the starry sky.

"How could I say goodbye to you?" He asked quietly, giving his head a small shake, reaching up to run a hand through his raven locks. "How could I say goodbye to any of you?" His voice broke and he turned away, unable to face her. "After all your family has done for me, I couldn't say goodbye to any of you." Harry felt the tears roll down his cheeks and he did not move to wipe them away, hoping that beneath the cover of darkness she'd not notice. He had not anticipated being caught, had not thought he'd have to face someone, especially not Ginny. Out of any of them, saying goodbye to her would have been the hardest of all.

Finally, something forced him to look up, and Harry faced her with what strength he had left. She was staring back at him with tears streaming down her freckled cheeks, her knees buckling beneath the weight of her sorrow, and Harry knew she would fall a moment before she went down. His bag fell to the ground with a thump as he dove, managing to catch her and break her fall beneath him. She was crying harder than he'd ever heard her cry in all their years together- gut wrenching sobs that left her unable to catch her breath. But then she was pushing him away from her, curling into herself there on the ground, shoulders quaking as she fought to speak through her tears. "Don't do that to mum." Was all she could finally make out when her tears began to subside and she turned to pin him with those eyes of hers, eyes that sent chills down his spine. "Please."

"I won't," he whispered, watching as relief spread across her features, softening them there in the starlight. He stood and offered her a hand, which after a moment she took, allowing him to help her back onto her feet. "Ginny, I..." She shook her head, indicating he didn't need to speak on, and merely tightened her hold on his hand. Suddenly, in that moment, things began to become clear again and he knew that deep down, he had never wanted to do this alone. "Come with me." He urged softly, drawing her close to him, his free hand cupping her tear-stained cheek. "Hermione always said I'd never make it without you, anyways." At that, she choked on something that sounded more like a laugh than a sob, and she gave a single nod. Taking her into his arms, Harry held on tight to her, knowing that he would do anything in his power to protect her and her family.

They were all he had left, after all.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning air was brisk, enough to make him draw his cloak a little bit tighter around himself, but not enough to leave him uncomfortable. Summer had drawn to a close only a few short weeks ago, though the warmth certainly had tried its best to hang on. But, it was no match for the chill of October and as they neared the end of the month, it seemed the cold was here to stay.

They had been traveling for a little over a month now, having left the day after the funerals, though it felt like years had passed. Harry often found himself looking across the campsite, expecting to see Ron there by the fire. He would catch himself opening his mouth to ask Hermione a question, only to find she wasn't there. Moments like that still yet left him breathless, the pain of his losses still as fresh as the day they'd occurred. In those moments, he'd instead turn to find Ginny, the only thing real left in his life, and just like that his world would begin to spin again.

In fact, he found himself seeking her out right then, his eyes desperate to drink in the sight of her beautiful features. He saw her at the edge of their camp, wand raised high above her head as she strung up a new protective charm she'd learned before heading out with him. As if she felt his eyes upon her, she turned to look at him over her shoulder, brown eyes smoldering in the dying sunlight and her face broke out into a small, tired smile. Unable to help himself, Harry crossed the camp and drew her into his embrace, holding onto her for several moments before letting go. Sometimes he just needed to remind himself she was really there.

When Harry pulled back from her, Ginny reached a hand up to touch his cheek, her head tilted ever so slightly. "It's almost Halloween." She commented as they returned to the center of the camp, Harry igniting the fire with the flick of his wand. At once they were hit with a wall of heat, the smoke trailing up towards the sky, made invisible by a charm she'd cast upon their arrival. "They'll be gone a month tomorrow, you know." She said softly, her head bowed as she stared hard at the dancing flames. Harry's breath caught in his throat but he didn't speak, his own head bowed as he closed his eyes. "It's gone so fast."

The days seemed to blend together now that they traveled; it was hard to keep track of the dates at all, but how could she ever forget the day she'd lost them both? No, that number- 26- was ingrained upon her heart and mind forever. "I know," Harry spoke quietly, his words drawing her back out from her own thoughts. He slipped a single arm around her waist, giving her a tender squeeze. "I miss them." He admitted without preamble, closing his eyes against the tears gathering within them. For how long would it hurt this much? For how much longer would he have to suffer?

Harry's words shattered her already broken heart and she turned in against him, burying her face into his chest as his other arm came around her. She did not speak, did not move, just allowed him to press his face against the top of her head as he cried softly, the loss of his friends almost too much to bear. "It's going to be okay, Harry," she finally whispered as he drew back a few minutes later, looking shamed by the tears on his cheeks. She reached up to wipe them away with the edge of her cloak, her own tears blinked away; this was for him, not for her. "I miss them too," she trailed her hand further up to run her fingers through his unruly hair, keeping her eyes locked upon his. "We're gonna make it through this." She adopted what she hoped was a serious voice, intent on instilling within him the strength he needed to get through this new storm. They had a war to win, no matter what happened around them, and they'd never survive if they fell apart now. "Let's just go to bed..."

Let's just go to bed... Those were the only words Harry needed to hear and he gave a single, but silent nod. It was then that Ginny slipped her hand into his and drew him towards the tent which he'd put up upon their arrival. They had used this tent for years now- from their trip to the Quidditch World Cup to their earlier travels with Ron and Hermione. Now, it was only them inside.

Drawing Harry towards their bunk, she let him climb in first before sliding into place beside him. She then drew the covers up across them both and at once Harry was reaching for her, rolling them both so she faced out, her back pressed against his chest. Neither of them spoke as they lay there in their bed, limbs entwined, hearts beating as one. It was only as Ginny began to drift off that she heard it, the whispered words against the shell of her ear...

"I love you."

[ x x x ]

Snow was falling.

As quickly as fall had come, it had gone, leaving in its wake a cold front that chilled him to the very bone. Harry knew that winter was already upon them and they would have to move quickly to finish up what they had set out to do.

In the few months that had passed since their setting out, he and Ginny had managed to track down yet another of the horcruxes, kept sealed away within the vaults of Gringotts. They were left to find only two more, though it seemed like they were never going to find out their locations or what they even could be. And he'd begun to experience dreams again, glimpses into Voldemort's thoughts and mind, and what he saw haunted him. He knew that they were running out of time. But now that the snow had begun to fall, Harry knew they'd move slower than before, and they both needed some time to rest and recharge. And so as December began to fade away and Christmas approached, Harry knew what they needed to do.

"Let's keep moving," Harry said to her early one night, turning to face her surprised expression with a small grin. "The darkness, you know?" She shrugged her shoulders and shifted her bag from one to the other before moving on. Ginny never complained about their travels, never complained about anything at all in fact. She offered as much insight as she could on what the horcruxes could be and where they were possibly located. She was, more than she realized, his rock, his whole foundation. Harry knew that without her he'd never have made it this far and so that was why he wanted to give her something back, something he knew she would enjoy more than anything else. "Let's go back to that Muggle town we saw Malfoy and Greyback in," he went on as they walked, hoping to keep her in the dark from his surprise as long as possible. If Ginny was surprised by his request, she didn't speak on it, and instead continued to follow him until they reached a clearing. "Come on," he put a hand to her elbow as he raised his wand, Apparating them away with a pop.

The first thing she noticed was that he hadn't brought her to any Muggle town at all.

In fact, now that she looked a bit closer... Despite the cover of darkness, despite the snow fall, she'd know this street anywhere. Turning to face him, Ginny's eyes widened at the sight of his smiling face and she felt her heart turn over. "You... You brought me home..." She murmured softly, a single tear breaking free and slipping down the curve of her cheek. There, just over the hill and beyond the protective charms, Ginny knew her home stood, where inside her family was waiting for them to arrive. Reaching for his hand, she gave it a tight squeeze and allowed him to lead her down the sidewalk towards the little gate that would lead from the Muggle side of the street to hers, where sure enough the Burrow had come into her line of sight. "How'd you manage this?" She asked as they walked, surprised that he'd been able to arrange such a thing without her knowledge.

"Remus." Harry replied with a grin, tugging her along with him up the hill, before he raised his wand and unleashed the silver stag that would take with it a message, alerting its recipient of their arrival. And sure enough, moments later they watched as the protective charms fizzled out, giving them a moment to step inside, before they were erected once more. Standing there on the lawn leading up to the Burrow was Remus, smiling and running a hand through his graying hair, head tilted as he watched them approach. "I thought you might like to spend Christmas at home."

A broad smile took root upon her face and then, much to Harry's surprise, tears were forming in her brown eyes. She paused a moment, reaching out to embrace him as tightly as she could, burying her face into his chest as his arms came around her too. "Thank you," was all she could say, her voice muffled as he held onto her, Remus still overlooking them from beyond the hill. Ginny wasn't so sure she could ever express to Harry the joy she felt at being back at home, even if it was for a day, even if it was only for a moment. She could never fully express to him what she was thinking and feeling right then and there. But then as Harry drew back, holding her at arm's length, she had to wonder if he already knew... Because he felt it too.

And so, hand in hand, they continued on their way, breaking away only for them both to embrace Remus. Then he led them towards the back door, the one that led into the kitchen, and through the curtains Ginny could already see her mother and the rest of the family peeking around one another as they waited for them to come through the door. And the moment she'd stepped over the threshold, she felt arms around her, heard the loud voices as her brothers surrounded her. From behind, Harry watched as Ginny was engulfed by the embrace of two of her brothers, their grinning faces telling him just how much their baby sister meant to them all. He felt a presence beside him and he shifted, turning to see Molly there, a smile on her face that told Harry she saw exactly what he saw. "This is what always happens," Molly mused softly, laughter bubbling beneath the surface as she watched the twins bounce their sister back and forth, chanting her name with every gentle push. "I never even get so much as a hello when they're around." This time she was chuckling and Harry could not help but to reach out a hand, to gently touch the woman's shoulder. Perhaps surprised by his gesture, Molly turned her wide, brown eyes to him and then smiled, reaching out herself to draw him into an embrace of her own.

"Hello, Mrs. Weasley," was all he could say as the woman who had more or less raised him all these years hugged him, her embrace warm and strong. She drew back only a moment later when Ginny had managed to slip free from her brother's grasp to finally hug her mother, who embraced her as fully as she had Harry only moments before. "Fred, George," Harry greeted as the boys then approached him, each of them embracing him as brother's would. It was as they stood there in the kitchen that they all felt it- the pinch of pain as a realization settled upon them: that Ron was not there. There would be no witty remark, no playful punches between brothers, and no reproachful sighing from Hermione on the sidelines. "How's the shop?" Harry forced himself to ask, grasping for something else to talk about, anything else to think about.

"Better than ever," Fred replied, taking the bait Harry offered, slipping his arm around Ginny as she returned to the cluster of siblings. "You look like you could both use a meal and shower." He observed then, looking from Harry to Ginny, as behind them already came the steady clang of pots and pans, clearly indicating Molly had the very same idea. "Come on." He gestured to lead them both to the kitchen table, the group falling into their usual places, never changing from the countless summers they had all spent together under the same roof. In moments like this, Harry could not help but to be exceedingly thankful for the family that had taken him in without a second thought. Through them, he knew what it was like to be loved and valued, to be respected and appreciated. Through them, he knew what it truly felt like to be part of a family- despite all that had happened.

And so Harry found himself settling into what he knew best with this family, laughter and good food, something they all needed a whole lot more than any of them would ever let on.

[ x x x ]

It was late when Harry stumbled from the shower to the old bedroom he'd shared with Ron for all these years. He had stayed up late with the others, drinking old Firewhisky and trading stories for the better part of four hours. But finally he'd left the twins snoring on the parlor couch, deciding it was well past the time he should have gone off to bed. His mind momentarily flickered to Ginny, wondering if she was sleeping well in her old room, the one she'd shared with Hermione all the years past.

For the first time that night, Harry almost regretted coming back to the Burrow, because being here meant he had to face it without Ron and Hermione. It meant he had to face the memories that remained there, the wounds still yet fresh in his tender heart. But as his hand turned the knob, he felt almost at peace, as if there was something telling him everything was going to be alright. And so he pushed the door open and slipped inside, flipping the light on as he closed the door behind him. Then, when he turned to face the bed, Harry found he was anything but alone. Ginny sat on the edge of his bed, dressed in a t-shirt he was certain was his and now that he looked closer... That was all she had on.

"I thought you went to bed," he said when he'd recovered, taking a step closer towards her as she rose up from the edge of the bed. As she approached him, Harry could see she was still drunk and he could not help but to have a laugh at her expense. She slid into place in his arms, rubbing her cheek against his chest, her hair still somewhat damp from her own shower.

"Does that mean you're not happy to see me?" She asked, her words a little slurred as she drew back, the look in her eyes mischievous, though her lips were twitching with a frown. Her hand trailed the length of his body from his shoulder down, fingers tracing along the towel wrapped around his waist, giving him a clear idea of just what she was up to.

Without a word, Harry caught her mouth with his own, drawing her back into his grasp. She was kissing him back as his hands slid into her hair, her own still lingering at his waist. "No," he uttered as he broke the kiss, instead trailing his lips from her mouth down towards her throat. He could not help but to sink his teeth into the soft, white flesh of her neck, earning him a sound from the depths of her that instantly set the mood. "I just figured you were sleeping already..." He went on as he moved his mouth from her throat back to her mouth, catching hers before she could respond. The kiss deepened, her tongue meeting deliciously with his own as he steered her back towards the bed, turning both of them so it was him with his back to it. When he felt his thighs bump into the edge, he sank down, his hands sliding from her hair all the way down to her hips, his hands relishing in the feel of her skin beneath his palms. He slid his arms around her waist then, drawing her close enough so he could bury his face into her stomach, her own hands threaded into his wet black hair. When holding her suddenly wasn't enough, Harry drew back enough to put his hands on the hem of her t-shirt, pulling it over her head in one single movement. He took that moment to drink in the sight of her naked body, a sight he truly would never tire of seeing. His hands moved on their own then, reaching out to cup her breasts, thumb tweaking a nipple as she threw her head back with a soft moan. Harry widened his legs, giving her the room to stand between them instead as she tightened her grip on his hair, red hair a waterfall down her back as she let out another moan, this one a bit louder than the other.

It was a moment later that Ginny had pushed him onto his back, her hands tearing away the towel he wore, revealing him to her. She climbed atop him, leaning over him as she kissed him, his hands moving across every inch of her body. "Ginny..." He groaned into her ear as she teased him relentlessly with a hand, her every stroke to his member like another shot of Firewhisky. "A... A... Silencing... Charm..." He managed to grunt as she adjusted herself over him, taking in just the tip of him, a move that nearly took his breath away.

"I already did," she breathed into his ear, her breath warm against the shell of his ear, a laugh escaping him as her words dawned on him. Her own laugh joined his as she pushed him inside of her, his laugh cut off as another groan escaped him, his hands tense on her hips as she began to rock back and forth. Her every movement was incredible and Harry found he could barely control himself. But he wasn't going to let her have every moment to herself- and so the moment she'd paused, breathing hard, Harry flipped them over so he was on top of her instead. "I love you." She gasped as he plunged back into her, her nails clawing down his back as he pushed deeper inside her.

"I love you, too." He murmured as he tipped his forehead against hers, no truer words ever escaping his lips. He loved her with all of his heart. Her hands were on the back of his head, her lips smiling as she gazed up into his eyes, knowing without him speaking just what he was thinking about. He was on the move again, long, slow strokes that sent her mind spiraling, her little cries that of frustration as she arched her back against him. "Slow..." He whispered as he pushed as deeply as he could into her, using one of his hands to pin both of hers over her head. As he slowly drew back out, he felt her hands straining against his, her hips pressing up against his as she let out a moan, lust and irritation all rolled into the very same sound. A chuckle escaped him and then he returned to quick thrusts, catching her off guard as she began to cry out, his name on her lips as he felt her release. And then Harry gave one final thrust, bursting inside of her as he released too, finally letting go of her hands; she at once grabbed hold of his face, tugging it close to her own to give him a kiss, a long, slow kiss that left him almost ready to go again.

But instead he pulled free from her, dropping down onto the bed at her side, slinging an arm across her lithe frame. "Don't go," he whispered into her ear when she'd settled with her back against him, the feel of her body pressed against his the only thing he needed. Her murmured response was too soft for him to hear, but she snuggled closer to him and then silence descended. Harry lay there with her in his arms, listening to the soft sounds of her breathing, knowing that despite all he'd lost... He was lucky. Despite the loss of Ron and Hermione, he still had someone special in his life. Someone left to keep him going. Pressing a kiss to her temple, Harry offered to the universe a silent thanks for allowing him to still yet hold onto her. Losing Ron and Hermione would be the hardest thing he'd dealt with in his eighteen years on this planet, but to lose Ginny would have absolutely destroyed him. And so despite it all, he was still so very thankful.

[ x x x ]

When Harry woke on Christmas morning, it was to a warm body pressed against his own.

Reminded of the night that they had just shared, Harry could not help but to grin as he rolled over to see Ginny sound asleep, hand tucked under her cheek, her breathing even and deep. Still grinning, he untangled himself from the sheets and slipped from bed, pulling on clean jeans and the t-shirt of his that Ginny had been wearing the night before. Leaning over her, he brushed a soft kiss against her temple and then tiptoed out of the room, deciding he might have even a few minutes alone before the rest of the family began to wake.

It was early and so there was no one else awake in the house as he made his way down to the kitchen. He paused only a moment in the kitchen for his attention was caught by the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree just inside the parlor. Neither of the twins remained in the parlor, implying they'd been herded off to bed by someone during the night and Harry could not help but to chuckle as he recalled the night before. Raising his gaze to the walls, he took the moment to appreciate the room he was standing in. It was a well sized room, with a plush couch and a fireplace against one wall. He'd spent many hours in this room, made hundreds if not thousands of different memories within those four walls. Crossing the room, he stopped before a wall that was plastered with pictures. Dozens of photos of the family throughout the year, Wizarding photos full of people that waved or slept or dance; people frozen in time with dazzling smiles and all with a full head of the Weasley red hair.

He focused then on a photo of Ron when he was small, grinning while he held onto a squirming gnome from the garden. Harry was smiling as he looked for another picture; this one of Ron holding what had to be a newborn Ginny, the twins on his either side, their older brothers all behind them. His eyes fell onto another picture then, of two smiling men he didn't know, but could see the familiarity in their faces. Their grins were much like that of Mrs. Weasley, perhaps this was...

"My uncles."

Harry turned at the sound of the voice, only to see Ginny standing there in the parlor door, red hair brushed and braided like a crown on her head. Hermione used to braid her hair for her, hundreds of times throughout the years, and Harry couldn't help but to smile at the sight of it. But then he sobered as she came closer, her hand reaching out to trail across the photo of her uncles. "They died just before I was born," she said, drawing her hand back to instead focus on a photo of Bill and her, back when she couldn't have been more than two-years-old. "Mum says they couldn't wait to have a niece." Her smile was faint, brown eyes darkening as she moved her gaze along the wall, stopping again on one of her and Ron from that last summer. "I have something for you." She suddenly sprung towards the tree on the opposite corner, Harry following after her. He watched as she stooped down and reached for a small package hidden back beneath the others. Standing back up, she extended it out for him to take, a smile curving on her lips. "I hope you like it."

Wondering when she could have found the time for such a thing, Harry suddenly felt guilty that he'd gotten her nothing beyond bringing her home for the holiday. He'd been so consumed by everything else, he'd never thought about a physical gift too. Though as he glanced up to meet her eyes, he could tell that was the furthest thing from her mind. And so he tore back the gold wrapping, noticing at once that with it's crimson ribbon it was reminiscent of Gryffindor's colors. Inside the wrapping was a small, flat box, which he tipped back the lid and felt his heart turn over in his chest. It was a small gold locket, oval-shaped, dangling from a sturdy but thin gold chain. Setting aside the box, he opened the locket and felt his breath catch; inside were two places for photos, but somehow Ginny had enchanted it so the locket continuously circulated various photos. Dozens of photos flickered past his eyes- family photos he'd just seen in this very room and so many more- some of Hermione as a child, others of the three of them throughout the years.

"Do you like it?" Her voice brought him back from the memories he'd been plunged into and for a moment, he could not find words to respond. Looking back up at her, he swallowed against his tears and reached for her, taking her into his arms without a single word. For several long moments they remained like that, locked into one another's embrace, but then she drew back and held out her hands, offering to place it around his neck. With slightly trembling fingers, she hooked the chain into place around his neck and carefully tucked the locket beneath his t-shirt, pressed against his heart. "I'll take that as a yes," she teased and Harry let out a laugh of his own, the truest laugh she thought she'd heard in two years. He drew her back towards him, this time to press his lips against hers, hoping his kiss could say to her everything that his words could not. When they pulled apart, her eyes were shining and he knew, as she always did, she understood him completely.

Part of him had worried about what this first Christmas without Ron and Hermione would bring and while it was not without sadness, his heart felt lighter than it had since he'd lost them both. For the first time since they had died, he felt he might be able to truly move on from their losses, that he might finally have a grasp back on his life. And it was all because of her. As always, and truly without trying, she'd saved his life again and again, always bringing him back from the ledge. It was as Hermione had always said... He'd have been lost without her.


End file.
